No Sign of Land

It feels like I’m always one breath away
From sinking

Like the water doesn’t want to kill me,
Just remind me
That I was never meant to float

My smile tastes like seawater
Soaked in salted tears

My voice ebbs and flows
But everything comes out
Like a gasp

And it’s so easy for people to tell me
To just keep swimming

As if I haven’t been kicking
And clawing
And begging the tide
To let me rest
On solid ground

Because no one sees how heavy it can be

Carrying the weight of every tragic thing
My mind can think up

With thoughts like a buoy
Rocking in the waves

Surfacing

Because I can’t drown them out

And I know that even the ocean
Has moments of calm

But I’ve just learned to expect that means
A storm is coming